OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAHave you ever said something and it been taken much differently than it was intended?

How about watching an online conversation disintegrate into name calling and drama? “But that’s not what I meant!”

Whether it’s online or face to face at a show or fair, keeping control of the conversation can be a challenge.

Or maybe you’re in a rush to get chores done and someone calls. “I’m kinda busy right now – call me back in a half hour.” Now the caller won’t see that you’re rushing to beat an incoming storm and want to get things done before it hits – and wrongly thinks you’re upset with them. Context means a great deal!

<Albert Mehrabian> stated that people form their perceptions in a conversation in three ways: 55% body language, 38%: tone of voice and 7% choice of words when talking about feelings or attitudes. This suggests that 93 percent of communication occurs through nonverbal behavior and tone; only 7 percent of communication takes place through the use of words – thus the “93/7″ Rule.”  – Overcoming Fake Talk **

Now think of that in another way – on social media. There is no way to see that 93% in most cases. Choosing words, striving for clear communication and responding, not reacting, take a higher role.

Communication is critical – whether it’s sharing information with a partner, spouse or youth about a task that needs completed or sharing with someone online about why you eat rabbit or why you chose the breed you chose, clear communication is important.

A few things to remember –

1. What you say is filtered through their experiences to become what they hear. What is intended may be much different than what is heard – if things get touchy, stop, think, ask for clarification.

2. We can’t control how someone takes our words, but we can choose our words carefully. “I wouldn’t use that buck in my herd” comes across much differently than “He’s horrible – cull him right now!” If someone is hearing the latter, reframe the conversation – clarify he might work for someone else but not in your herd.

3. Don’t take it personally! When you are dealing with an animal rights person, or someone who rabidly denounces the use of rabbits as meat or someone who has opposite views than you on pretty much any topic – you’re not going to convert them, no matter what you say. They’re not going to convert you. Stop, breathe, and simply say “I understand what you’re saying but do not agree. Thanks for sharing.” Then drop it. And I mean drop it – leave it alone, do not pick it back up. LEAVE the conversation. Nothing productive comes from bickering online. If they have a conversation meltdown – and many will – and get hateful, trust me, people see that and it speaks volumes. Don’t repay in kind, no matter how much you think they deserve it.

4. Increase listening skills. Observe conversations, and listen, listen, listen. Does it make a difference reading messages from people you know vs people you haven’t met face to face? Are you hearing them accurately? Is your perception filter altering what they say? Listening can be invaluable as you talk to others about rabbit promotion.

To hold REAL conversations, you must take responsibility for how you speak and interact with others. You can’t go around blaming everyone and everything else for your lack of results in creating REAL conversations that work!

This brings an important point – if communication detours look at your reaction, words, understanding. If any of the three need altered, breathe, do so and try again.

The results are worth it. Clear communication is critical.

 

**disclosure* I created a storefront and put a link to Overcoming Fake Talk in it so it’s easy to group with other helpful books and guides for those who may find it useful. Practicing clear communication is important to be understood but also to effectively share important information. A few pennies from the purchase help the PromoteTheRabbit website.

 

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